Week Ten: Will Matthews' Birthday

Week Ten

  Another eventful week and a whole host of new places.  I found myself in central, south west and north London all in a week.  Wow, what a man I am.  On Saturday it was my housemate's 25th birthday so a long day of drinking was in store (such lads) with many new places to see.  Solid week.

Special guests include:  Will Matthews (birthday boy), Collo, Lefty, Katrina Lennon, my biggest fan (Chris Hazell), Kroegs, Dico, Hayts, Newbs, Grubs, Treesy, Pyatt, the Pearce twins, Nix and Nix's friend Jos.


Summary of Crazy Bear

Name: Crazy Bear
Type:  Bar and Restaurant.
Location: 26-28 Whitfield Street, Fitzrovia, London, W1T 2RG
Website: http://www.crazybeargroup.co.uk/fitzrovia/
Date Visited: 11/03/14
Price: Wallet burning expensive
Rating: 3/5

Review

  This bar is situated near Goodge Street and if you are not at your eagle eyed best you could easily miss it, as its tucked away quite nicely.  This place is pretty uber cool with an Asian restaurant at the top with a bar with dark mood (minimal) lighting downstairs.  Suits me to a tee...love a bit of favourable lighting.  This bar in all fairness has lovely décor and the waiters were pretty on it when serving us our drinks.  Get the strawberry and basil cocktail when you come here, went down a storm. 

  The weird thing about this place is that the bar is 6 foot below from where you are sitting.  It's a little bit strange as the bar staff are literally 1 metre below you when you give your order.  Fairly odd and unless you've been there you won't know what I mean.  Also the toilets have no signs with no door handles.   You have to continuously push against variant parts of the wall until you find the door.  The Ladies and Gents toilets are side by side which was dangerous to say the least.  The Ladies toilet is on the left hand side if you ever come here to avoid the embarrassment I suffered.
 
3 cocktails came to £47.00.  That's why I try to steer away from Central London because my wallet whimpers after. 



Summary of Chipotle

Name: Chipotle
Type:  Mexican
Location: 147 Leadenhall Street, London, EC3V 4QT
Website: http://www.chipotle.com
Date Visited: 11/03/14
Price: Like Nandos....overpriced for what it is
Rating: 2.25/5

Review

  If you haven't been to this place before you're not missing much.  It's basically the Mexican version of Nandos.  Now this is going to cause some outrage I'm sure but I am not a big fan of Nandos.  Maybe it's down to me finding the lemon and herb flavour spicy (can't handle spicy food) but I find the place overpriced and a fast food joint disguising itself as a restaurant of high class. 

  Chipotle is much of the same.  I don't like spicy food so I had to go for a very boring mild option with limited filling. Yes the burrito was tasty and quite nice but was that and beer worth £15. No it god damn wasn't.   Do I get plate? No you can have a paper bowl with a plastic fork. Bon appetite 

Summary of Catcher in the Rye

Name: Catcher in the Rye
Type:  Gastro Pub
Location: 317-319 Regents Park Road, Finchley Park, London, N3 1DP
Website: http://www.faucetinn.com/catcher-in-the-rye/
Date Visited: 15/03/14
Price: Standard.
Rating: 2.75 / 5

Review

  Saturday had arrived which meant it was Will Matthews birthday.  This also meant on the beers from 11am (Oh you didn't!)  First stop of the day was Finchley Park at their finest pub called The Catcher in the Rye.  Here we watched the England V Italy rugby game and others used it to line their stomachs with a burger. 

  This is a very standard pub so I can't fault it in any way.  The beer was priced competitively, they provided a very high standard quality of nuts it must be said and they showed the rugby.  One criticism of the place and why it falls short of 3 is that they only had one small screen in the corner and there was a lack of atmosphere in the establishment.  Again it was midday and only England V Italy so I'll let them off.

Clapham North at 11am...nutters!

 
Summary of Allianz Park

Name: Allianz Park
Type:  Stadium
Location: Allianz Park, Greenlands Lane, Hendon, London, NW4 1RL
Website: http://www.allianzpark.com/
Date Visited: 15/03/14
Price: Questionable
Rating: 2.5 / 5

Review

  After the England V Italy game it was time to get in the taxis and head to the middle of nowhere to watch our old school (Warwick) play in the Under 15 Rugby Semi Final of The NatWest Cup.  Allianz Park was the stadium and unlike the previous pub the atmosphere was electric.  To give you a quick review of the game: Warwick won 12-8.

  This stadium was impressive and the sun was shining so all was well in our group of 9 thirsty lads.  The crowd were chanting to add to the occasion and the beers were priced ok to be fair. 

  What let this place down was that they decided to only open one bar, which I am sure they wouldn't do on a game day, and the Guinness (back on the Guinness again are you Jack??) was flat.  Now the barmaid bloody well told me it was flat as she passed me the 4 pints saying she was going to have to change the keg.  Did she give me new beers? No! Did she charge me full price? Yes!

  For that and the fact it’s in the middle of nowhere and fairly tricky to get back to civilisation I have to mark it down 0.5.  Lovely stadium though.

What a fantastic photo

Summary of The Garden Gate

Name: The Garden Gate
Type:  Pub
Location: 14 South End Road, Hampstead, London, NW3 2QE
Website: http://www.thegardengatehampstead.co.uk/
Date Visited: 15/03/14
Price: Variant
Rating: 4.25 / 5

Review
 

  Well hello there.  This is a superb pub! By this point our group of 9 lads had been joined by 2 girls and the drinks were really flowing.  This place boasts to having the best pub garden in London.  It's not far off it in all fairness and we sat there for a good few hours happy as Larry.  During this point drinking rules were in full flow and bets on how quick we could all down pints between each other were constant.  Very normal behaviour for 25 year old males.

 Yes Ireland beat France so England didn't win the Six nations but that didn't dampen our spirits.  This place is well worth a visit and if you are on an all dayer in North London then come here for a good session.  Best pub I've been too for a while.

 Can you spot the golf ball in the pint?



Summary of Sugar Cane

Name: Sugar Cane
Type:  Hawaiian themed bar 
Location: 247 Lavender Hill, Clapham Junction, London, SW11 1JW
Website: http://www.thesugarcane.co.uk/
Date Visited: 15/03/14
Price: Ok.
Rating: 3 / 5

Review

  After venturing into the unfamiliar territory of North London for the day it was time to go back to where we felt comfortable and safe. Clapham Junction.  Will's long birthday day had turned to the evening event where the Sugar Cane bar was to be our final destination.  Now I like this place but there will be those amongst you who will not like it I can tell you.

  It is very cramped, especially downstairs, and has a very sweaty vibe to it.  In addition to that, it’s not the biggest place but it is good fun.  The wait at the bar isn't particularly long which is handy and the music policy downstairs is nothing short of outstanding. They play all the classics so be prepared for standing around in a circle throwing questionable shapes and singing along...all night long.  One criticism is that it is cramped on the dancefloor which means you can get quite heated.  I'm talking Artesian Well on Saturday night if you know what I mean.

  This place is a good laugh for a night out effectively, it doesn’t try to be anything (apart from Hawaiian) original or spectacular, it just has a couple of palm trees at the front, nice décor (second time I have said that) inside, well priced drinks and good music. 

Birthday boy Will Matthews on the left and my biggest fan (Chris Hazell) on the right

God we are such party animals

Poem Advice


If you have a tinder date,
then Crazy Bear will impress
With the cocktails that expensive
You'd hope they'd undress

Catcher in the Rye,
Standard pub which shows sport
But the poor screen in the corner,
Means the place falls short

Rugby, beers and scorching sun?
Then go to Allianz Park
After the game order a taxi
When it arrives it'll be dark

The best pub garden in London,
It's certainly at the garden gate
I can't tell you how good it is,
One of the highest I do rate

Sugar Cane in Clapham,
Hawaiian theme I'm told
Cramped and very sweaty,
You certainly won't be cold



  I have to say I am running out of creative poetry but not places you'd be pleased to hear, so tune in next week for Week 11.


  Of course I am open to recommendations so if you do have any places you highly recommend do let me know.  The Partyman is always open to suggestions.

See you next week fans
x
Follow me on Twitter @jackgravestock

Week Nine: The Florence, The Craft Beer Co and Richmond Cafe

Week Nine

 
  Well this week doesn't quite have the culture as last week and to be honest it won't be as interesting (just).  Once again I would like to congratulate all of you who made it all the way through last week. 4000+ words...good effort chaps.  This week includes two pubs and a Thai restaurant with all them being ok but nothing to write home about.  We also see the return of the financier (Dad) who was responsible for us getting tickets to Twickenham and taking us for a memorable Thai after.
 
  Special guests this week include the work colleagues: Alex Auger, Eloise, Lucy T, Will Porritt, Nick (The Boss), Liv, Simon, Javed, Craig, Jonny and Lisa. 
Other special guests include: Lefty, my biggest fan (Ging), Joe (the brother), the financier (Dad) and his work colleagues/friends.

 

Summary of The Florence

 

Name: The Florence

Type:  Pub

Location: 131-133, Dulwich Road, Herne Hill, London, SE24 0NG

Website: http://www.florencehernehill.com/

Date Visited: 06/03/14

Price: Quite expensive for a packet of crisps

Rating: 2.75/5

Review

    The occasion was leaving drinks for Alex before she goes off travelling and unfortunately I can't really give too much of a detailed review as I was only here for one drink because I had to drive home (responsible).   However the pub is really cool inside and one of the most popular places to go for a beer in Herne Hill and I think it would be a great boozer for 4-5 jars if you are ever in the area.
 
  One criticism of this place is that it was one of those places where you had to spend £5 minimum on card.  The beer came to £4.10.  'How much are a packet of crisps Sir?' I asked.  '£1.10', he replied.  That'll do the trick.  Is it me or is £1.10 an extortionate amount for a packet of crisps?  To be fair they were chorizo flavour....premium price for premium goods and they did get me over that £5 threshold.
 
  In conclusion, would suggest going here if you are in Herne Hill and find yourselves in Brockwell Park.  Come with cash but if not get the chorizo flavoured crisps.  Even better don't be stingy and get a round in...that'll take you over £5.

Don't you just love those people who post photos of what they eat. 

 

Summary of Craft Beer Co

 

Name: Craft Beer Co

Type: Pub

Location: 128 Clapham Manor Street, Clapham, London, SW4 6ED

Website: http://thecraftbeerco.com/pub/clapham/

Date Visited: 08/03/14

Price: Standard

Rating: 3/5

Review
 
  Right controversy alert.  I have actually been inside this building before but when it was under different ownership and called the Manor Inn.  However this place is called the Craft Beer Co so in effect it is a new place.  They have put Astro turf outside the front where the smoking area is so that's sort of new. 
 
  Again I am afraid to say I wasn't in this place long as Lefty, my biggest fan (Ging) and I were on a pub crawl around Clapham.  Decently priced beer from memory (stop it) and when I asked one of the locals to take a photo of the three of us for the blog we got this photo of the photographer instead:

Cheers mate

 
  Recommend this place for a beer if you stumble across it.  Astro turf for a smoking area...genius or bizarre? 
 

Summary of Richmond Café

 

Name: Richmond Cafe

Type:  Thai Restaurant

Location: 58 Hill Rise, Richmond Hill, Richmond Upon Thames,   TW10 6UB

Website: http://www.zomato.com/london/richmond-cafe-richmond/menu

Date Visited: 09/03/14

Price: Ask Dad

Rating: 3?

Review

  To keep up the theme with this week’s blog, I am unable to give this a very fair and accurate review.  Anyhow it was good to see the return of the financier which always means the brother and I are in for a cheap afternoon, he would say free.

  This just wasn't any day though, this was England V Wales at Twickenham....what a game.  Unfortunately I have been to Twickers before so I can't count it as new.  What I can tell you is that we had Guinness’s in our hand from midday (You didn't...not back on it again...relentless you are!) and the sun was beaming for the first time in 2014.
 
 Well after the rugby game, where England were victorious  if you missed it, we had a few more beers back at the west car park (cheeky).  After this it was into Richmond to get some food but I banned the usual curry house so Dad booked us in for a Thai restaurant called Richmond café...sounded like it had a lot of Thai history.
 
  In general this place did noodles and served red wine but apart from that my culinary review stops there.  My father, my brother and I unfortunately cannot shed any further light on the meals as it had been a long day, a very long day.  In effect it filled us up so I won't hear a bad word said about this place and I will go back here so I can sample it properly.  Apologies for the vagueness.

  No photo from the restaurant but to keep in line with the photo theme this week, here is a photo of the financier taking an accidental selfie

The Financier

Poem Advice

Walking around Brockwell Park,
Or find yourself in Herne Hill,
Then pop into the Florence,
Over £5 the minimum bill

If Astro turf at an entrance,
Is what you crave and desire
Craft Beer Co's for you then
But no areas to hire?

Been at Twickers for some rugby
and fancy eating Thai
Don't know if Richmond cafe's good
but why not go and try


  Thanks once again to all of you guys for reading again and I can only apologise for quite a stale week due to the lack of new places and the unfortunate case of memory loss.  
 
  Next week should be good as a trip to Goodge Street has already occurred and we have Will Matthew's Birthday Day on Saturday.  Should be a whole host of new places.  By the way that's a link to my twitter at the bottom.  Thought I'd point it out as don't seem to be getting any new followers....
 
See you next week fans

X

Follow me on Twitter @jackgravestock

Week Eight: Madrid

Week Eight

 

  Is this my most eagerly anticipated blog of the year so far? I think it probably is due to the fact I was abroad in Madrid from Thursday to Sunday.  Right so I will split this into three days and take you through the trip as if you were there with me (god knows you wish you were).  Effectively myself and 12 other lads (13 in total) headed out to Madrid for a bit of culture and a bit of alcohol.  In a stroke of good fortune (some would say because I am the Partyman) I knew a good friend of mine out there called Emma Horner who showed our group all the 'in' joints in Madrid. 

Special appearances this week from the hosts: Emma Horner (Host) Rob (Horner's friend/host) Max (horner's friend/host) Hayley (Horner's friend/host) Beth (Horner's housmate)

Special appearances from the tourists: Oli Leech, Chopper, Allen, Gourlay, Crackers, Felton (Stag), Rusty, Benji, O Shea, Gabes, Josh Lee and Nick Farkas (Doctor and organiser of this trip).

 

 

THURSDAY

 

Summary of La Cocina de San Anton

Name: Ls Cocina de San Anton

Type:  Restaurant/Bar

Location: Calle Augusto Figueroa, 24, 28004 Madrid, Spain
Website: http://www.lacocinadesananton.com

Date Visited: 27/2/14

Price: Decent

Rating: 2.5/5

Review

 I arrived in Madrid and went to Emma's apartment where I dumped my stuff and declared my desperate need for some food as the Greggs Tuna Crunch baguette pre-flight had worn off.  We walked around a quirky little tapas market where I had to quickly explain that, although feeling cultural, I needed a good old fashioned sit down and a burger was almost certainly the food of choice.

  This restaurant was the floor above so we sat down and were joined by Madrid English residents Rob and Max.  The beers were flowing (tour and all that) and we gave our orders.  I went for the lamb burger of some kind so you can imagine my shock and alarm when no bun arrived.  I've moaned about buns having no consistency before but no bun at all....that's madness! Not to worry: 'Excuse senor, Bun?' I asked and 'Si' was the reply.  10 minutes (could of been 2) passed and a basket of stale bed arrived.  Alas, no bun for me this time.

That said the burger was exceptional and it was all very cheap, helped by Max taking advantage of his expenses through business.  That said I just couldn't get over the absentee roll so I can't give it a 3.

Do come here though.  Oh and one thing to note, I 'm not sure if its all of Spain or just Madrid but they absolutely love stale bread and refuse to have any dip, butter or anything.  It must be dry and difficult to eat.  Do not get it.



Summary of Areia

Name: Areia Colonial Chillout

Type: Bar

Location: Calle Hortaleza, 92, 28004 Madrid, Spain
Website: http://www.areiachillout.com/

Date Visited: 27/2/14

Price: Cheaper than England

Rating: 3/5

Review

 After the restaurant unfortunately, due to Max and Emma having work the next day, they had to depart.  I wasn't ready to sacrifice the night quite yet (11.30pm if you're asking) and luckily nor was Rob who I had met a few hours previous.  First things first, we were in the rumoured gay district so to avoid unfortunate misunderstanings which two guys sharing a drink may give, we exited out of the area.  Once out of the 'zone' we went to Areia.

  This bar is fairly cool and does double beefeater gin better than anyone else I know.  We had four gin and tonics and couple of jagers but still the girls weren't coming over to talk to us. Why?

 Lovely little bar this so if you want a chilled drink in Madrid I would recommend it as it had a 'cool man' vibe.  You know where I am coming from, bed in the corner sort of job.

Summary of Moby Dick Club

Name: Moby Dick Club

Type:  Nightclub

Location: 180-184 Earl’s Court Road, London, SW5 9QG
Website: http://www.mobydickclub.com/

Date Visited: 27/2/14

Price: Didn't pay...seemed cheap

Rating: 1.5/ 5

Review

  When Rob told me we were going to meet his Spanish rugby team mates and that we were going to a cool place, I was slightly concerned that this quiet meal was turning into a big one.  This increased when I was told the name of the club was the Moby Dick Club....I doubted it's Spanish authenticity.   On arrival we were greeted by 14 Spanish rugby players, relatively boozed and had a line of Jagers and beers ready for us to drink.

  I hastily, as per usual, did my shot and then took a swig of my beer with my right hand to disguise the taste.  Seconds later, I felt a hand on my right shoulder with a Spanish rugby guy wagging his finger from side to side.  'Senor' he said while pointing to my right hand. He then took me to the bar, ordered another beer and pointed to my left hand.  International drinking rules in play. Awesome.

  The Spanish rugby team where a good bunch and spoke good English so I had a good fun and was able to understand conversation.  Didn't stop me speak in broken English with a Spanish accent though.  Did that all week and have done so on my return which has been quite awkward.  Back to the club, unfortunately we were the only 15 people there as everyone (the girls in particular) left as we arrived.  Such a catch.  Rob and the Spanish rugby boys were good lads but wouldn't advise coming here unless you stumbled onto it or you are on a sports tour and want to get loose.

Me, Rob and the finger wagging Senor

FRIDAY

 

Summary of Cafee Eke

Name: Cafee Eke

Type:  Cafe

Location: Calle Cuchilleros, 3, 28005, Madrid, Spain
Website: http://www.cafeeke.com

Date Visited: 28/2/14

Price: Didn't have enough to comment

Rating: 1.5/5

Review

 

  I won't lie to you, I had a rather big hangover the next day when I woke up.  There was no time to dwell on this as I received a call from Oli Leech and Luke Chopper Harris....they had landed and were en route to Sol.  I set off to meet them and I was informed they were at a Belgian café just off Plaza Maya.  After trying 10 exits of Playa and walking around for half an hour I found them.

  Didn't know what to expect from a Belgian café in the centre of Madrid to be honest.  I didn't take any risks and only ordered two bottles of water.  The waiter took an age to bring them over and had a bit of attitude when I reminded him of my order.  That sounds like I was being a bit of an arsehole but he brought a tray out with everyone elses stuff so I was just double checking he hadn't forgotten mine.  In my defence I was parched.  Anywhere due to the water taking an age to arrive I can only give it 0.5.  Actually it gets 1.5 because the other boys were on good form and company is key.

Don't go here.



Summary of Zombie Bar

Name: Zombie Bar

Type: Bar/Restaurant

Location:  Calle Pez, 7  28004 Madrid
Website: http://zombiebar.es

Date Visited: 28/2/14

Price: Really good

Rating: 3.5/5

Review

Another authentic Spanish sounding bar.  This bar was on the same road as our apartment so we dumped our bags down and headed in.  The street is called Calle Pez and is basically London's equivalent to Shoreditch.  This bar was hella edgey with a giant Ronald Mcdonald head on the wall, the pints served in jam jars (take note Jam Tree) and the bills inside VHS cases.  This place offered free Wi Fi and the name of it was FREE GAY PORN.  No joke. Scene.

 We visited this place a lot over the week and was adopted as our local.  Try the Homer burger.  However, the waiters weren't particularly friendly at times and had little patience.  Luke's stray elbow knocking over the Waitress and smashing the tower of plates didn't help. 

They also moved us from table to table regularly to accomodate other customers and told us one evening that we had to be out by 9pm as 10 lads were not welcome.  Charming

That's cost you 4/5 but this is somewhere I strongly recommend especially for you East London folk out there.  Decent establishment.

Summary of Restaurante Alcaravea

Name: Restaurante Alcaravea

Type:  Restaurant

Location:
Website: 

Date Visited: 28/2/14

Price: Unreal

Rating: 4.25/ 5

Review

  Rob (Emma's Friend) had kindly hooked us up at this incredible restaurant which had opened only a few days prior.  The guy behind it all, who Rob teaches English to, has three other restuarants around Madrid adopting the same formula.  That formula works!  Rob, Oli, Chopper, Emma, Hayley and myself were sat in the middle of the restaurant with a nice long sociable table.  The food was perfecto mundo (Spanish reference for you) with my only concern being the plate it was served on.  When the knife scraped against the plate it reminded me of scraping a spade on pavement.  It gives me the shivers which was causing a scene so I had to change plates.

  The tapas they ordered included 'broken eggs' (ham egg and chips) which was a particular highlight along with the Ox.  Once food was finished it was time for a few goblets of Hendricks accompanied with a cucumber and when the bill arrived at around 35 Euros each we were delighted.  Oli by the end was slumped on the bar mumbling about the great cheese while Chopper was asking people to take a photo of him and Rob.  A bromance had formed and then we received a text...the remaing 10 lads had landed.  Oops only 9 as Rusty had missed his flight due to over celebrating his promotion.

The gang

Summary of The Passenger

Name: The Passenger

Type:  Bars

Location: Calle Pez, 16, 28004 Madrid, Spain
Website: http://www.parolio.com/portfolio/the-passenger/

Date Visited: 28/2/14

Price: So much cheaper than England

Rating: 3/5

Review

 

The final remaining lads (bar Rusty) had arrived.  12 (minus Rusty) lads from Newcastle Uni, Rob, Max, Emma and Hayley formed the formidable force.  We met at the bar, The Passenger, where everyone was on different levels of drunkness.  Emma, Hayley, Max and Rob (Madrid Locals) were holding it together, the newly arrived 10 lads were stone cold sober, Luke and I were well oiled and Oli was really struggling.

 

  This place is quite cool (which was to be expected with it being on Calle de Pez) and is very thin like all the places in Madrid.  Probably too thin for our group party.  Hendricks were back out again and Nick (the host) lost an unfortunate game of 5's meaning he had to 'see it off'.  No repeats of his neknominate (thank god) and it certainly added to the atmosphere of excitement and anticipation of what held next.

 

  The Passenger (the pub not Oli Leech who at this stage had become one due to his inebriety) they have flat screens are all along one wall showing surfers, from memory, which was a bit random but still very original.  If you are in a party of 8 or less I would say this place is awesome for a few drinks but anything more than that I think the place is too thin and you can't socialise/operate properly.



Summary of B12 Bar

Name: B12 - The Bar lab

Type: Nightclub/Bar

Location: Calle de Joaquín Costa, 27, 28002 Madrid, Spain
Website:  https://www.facebook.com/pages/B12-The-Bar-Lab/174147709327798?id=174147709327798&sk=info

Date Visited: 28/2/14

Price: For Madrid Pricey

Rating: Not valid for a rating

Review

 Cost me 10 Euros to get in.  I was in a group of 5, we did laps of the whole place searching every floor searching for the other 10.  Was eventually told everyone was next door so we left within 15 minutes.

Entry was costly and the venue seemed cool albeit brief.  All I can say is that the stamps they use to prove entry take a good 30 showers to get off.  Put's infernons branding system to shame.

Summary of Marvel Bar

Name: The Marvel Bar Genius

Type:  Bar

Location:
Website: 

Date Visited: 28/2/14

Price: Free entry....get in

Rating: 3.25/5

Review

  After the confusion of entering the wrong bar we were welcomed like long lost soldiers from the rest of the group.  Oli Leech had turned it around and was back in the game.  The drinks were very much flowing now and the group were dancing like madmen.  Emma's friend also called Emma (which caused some confusion) and her friends joined the ever-growing group.  This place was situated over two floors, played great music, had high ceilings and the wait at the bar was short.  Gourlay was throwing some serious shapes which was causing quite a stir.  Unfortunately the place shuts at two so when we were just getting out 'the game changer' dance moves, the lights came on. The time was 2am but the group wanted more.

  If you are coming to Madrid and you have a large group of people (predominantly males) I would say head over here to start things off as its free entry and the place is European cool, whatever that means.

The Organiser on the left and The Stag on the right

 

Summary of La Cocina

Name: La Cocina Rock Bar

Type:  Bar and Nightclub

Location: Av de Alberto Alcocer, 48, 28016 Madrid, Spain
Website:  www.lacocinarockbar.com

Date Visited: 28/2/14

Price: ???

Rating: 3

Review

 

  For the pedantic ones out there this should 'technically' be classed under Saturday because we entered this club at 3am. LADS LADS LADS.  Now this place is very interesting.  Everyone was fairly tanked up and bouncing from walls to walls but the party was still operating at 100% attendance rate (minus Rusty and Emma's friend Emma's friends....very confusing)

 

  I can hear the question on the tip of everyone's lips...where in Madrid can we listen to Old school Linkin Park and Limp Bizkit (the band not Felton the Stag).   Here is the answer! Ben, Chopper, Josh Lee, Joe, Freddie and Gabes were getting their serious mosh on.  Everyone was to be fair.   One Spaniard took offence to our dangerously good dance moves and threw a drink over Fred.  It was tense but no further action was taken by either party.

 

  It put a slight dampener (no pun intended) on our evening but overall it was a great place to go after a night out when you still want more.  Think the Swan in Stockwell but a lot better.  On entry you were meant to get a free shot but I was failed to be given one. Probably for the best but even with Rob asking for my dues in Spanish they still declined.  That's cost you 0.25 of a point and takes you to a solid 3. 



SATURDAY

Summary of Mercardo Food Market

Name: Mercardo

Type: Food Market

Location:  Plaza de San Miguel, s/n, 28005 Madrid, Spain
Website: 

Date Visited: 1/3/14

Price: Depends on the stall

Rating: 3.5/5

Review

 Hello culture and hello rusty!  Rusty had arrived after missing his original flight which cost him Friday's nights 'debauchery'.  We arose from our beds/mattresses and we headed off to the food market (posh one apparently) I believe on Ben's (the chef) recommendations.

  I'm not a big fan of overcrowding, unless at a gig of course, but it is to be expected at a market so I wasn't fussed.  There were stall's everywhere (sort of the idea) and they had a wide range of items (again the idea).  I enjoyed almost every item I tried and enjoyed my Sangria more (what back on it at Midday, stop it).  In all honesty this place is really cool and the food is pretty decent, in particularly the Parma ham baguette.

  TIP: How to do it wrong was shown by Chopper Harris who had a rice pudding cheese ball....COLD! Then it was some Spanish version of a pasty (empanadas) which was like most supermodels (Hot on the outside, cold on the inside....oooh he's got all the gags).  To top it off he played it safe with Ham and Cheese on some famously Spanish stale bread.  Again it was a poor shout.

So the lesson here is amigos choose wisely.  For the experience it is a must visit in Madrid.

Summary of La Perejila

Name: La Perejila

Type:  Tapas Restaurant

Location: Cava Baja, 25, 28005 Madrid
Website:  https://www.facebook.com/pages/La-Perejila/116839091715751

Date Visited: 1/3/14

Price: Extremely well priced again

Rating: 2/5

Review

After the food market we were all still hungry as the food market was a nibbles sort of thing.  Due to the majority of restaurants and bars being quite small we quickly realised that the group would have to split up into two.

  I was in the second half with Farkas (organiser) Crackers (the Pole), Chopper and Josh (all the stories) Lee.  This place is highly recommended on Google, not that we knew that at the time.  You wouldn't of known it by the way we were greeted on arrival.  Admittedly I was wearing a T-shirt and Gilet (no jumper) which may have given off a touristy vibe.  Didn't quite fit into what they were looking for as the whole restaurant was singing in Spanish.

  After a couple of grunts and points from the waitress we found ourselves sitting at a table directly next to the toilet, convenient I suppose.  We ordered 4 beers and were presented with four quarter beers each.  Chopper downed it, lad.  We decided to upgrade from midget beers to Grande beers and this time we got nearer to the pints we were after.  Chopper downed that again (in fact he downed all 5 beers he was given....good effort). 

  The tapas presented to us was really nice actually and filled us all up quite well with our hunger satisfied.  The reason for this negative review, apart from the midget beers, was the waitress... terrible attitude

   I, in my fantastic Spanish accent, asked for Allioli.  I repeated this word 4 times to which the waitress would reply 'what are you trying to say?' 
This exchange continued until the waitress said 'please?!?!, can I have some?!?! Manners!'. 
'Allioli Gracias senorita?' I responded. 
Hellmans mayonnaise with a clover of garlic arrived.

Company was good with some fantastic stories in particular from Josh Loose Lee and Farkas but due to attitude of the waitress and the seating position I would say do not go.  Toilet Tapas is not a must!

Summary of La Jauria

Name: La Jauria

Type:  Restaurant

Location: Calle Colón, 10, 28004 Madrid, Spain
Website: http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Restaurant_Review-g187514-d3419133-Reviews-La_Jauria-Madrid.html

Date Visited: 1/3/14

Price: Again very good

Rating: 3/5

Review

It was the final night but before we started to head out to the nightclub scene where the Madrid local women would surround us, we had to get some grub.  This was trickier than it sounded as no place could accommodate 14 guys at 9pm (primetime).  We decided to split groups, with January to June birthdays in one and the rest of the year in the other.  Perfect way to split and we were off.

  After a couple of further rejections we found ourselves in La Jauria.  Now this came with a caveat.  We would all have to sit on one side of a long rectangle table facing the wall.  Conversation was difficult and limited to those next to you.  Lucky we are all such bloody legends.  I can't tell you how odd it is with everyone sitting in a line facing the wall while eating your food.

 Rob joined us and took his seat gratefully along side us opposite the wall.  I'll tell you La Jauria have some very funky purple wallpaper.  Waitress arrived and took our orders of 7 lamb shanks.  Continental.

  The lamb shanks were quality but the portion size was very little.  I came to the conclusion that the Spanish just love to have about 9 courses so the British attitude of just one big main doesn't really work.  Anyway it did a job, paid the bill, cheap again and we were off to join our amigos to hit the town. 

SHOT SHOT SHOT SHOT SHOT SHOT SHOT SHOT SHOT SHOT SHOT SHOT SHOT SHOT SHOT SHOT

EVERYBODY!



Summary of Le Boutique

Name: Le Boutique Discoteca

Type: Nightclub

Location: Calle de Serrano, 45, 28001 Madrid, Spain
Website:  http://www.leboutique.es/

Date Visited: 1/3/14

Price: London(ish)

Rating: 3.25/5

Review

 
 Now before we came to this place I have to do a little shout out.  After we had all joined force as one group of 14 lads we then went to Emma's friend Max's apartment which was on the 24th floor with amazing views of Madrid.  Admittedly it took us an hour for us to get to the flat from his flat due to the lift getting stuck and Farkas' emergency Spanish letting us down.  Cracknell, Josh Lee and Joe O Shea kept their cool. But once we arrived at the flat it was worth it, the view was incredible so thanks Max, hats off.

  After we left Max's playboy flat it was time to hit the tiles..again.  Le Boutique was decided by Emma to be the most accommodating establishment to let a group of over 10 well oiled lads in.  On arrival it was decided that we should get a table by paying 30 euros each which would include entry.  Very London.

  Leech, Allen and Crackers were on the verge hysteria until they realised that it was not 50 euros.  We got in and this place is quite basic in its idea.  It is just a giant room with disco floors, dance-floors and bars dotted around for you to top yourself up. Perfect.

 To be fair we didn't spend to much more than the 30 euros each as it covered us for most of the night.  This place I have to say does a job.  It's not going to win you over with its décor but its got a good dance floor, good music policy and stays open until very late.  This is of course important on the final night.

Worth going to this place I would say. 

The lads

 

 Poem Advice

I can't do a poem this week
It will take me far too long
To do a poem half heartedly
To me it just seems wrong


Sorry that it was a very long write up and if you are still reading now I applaud you.

It will be back to normality next week with a normal sized read for you all as there will only be a few places.

Special thanks in particular goes to Emma Horner for hosting our touring party well.  The same goes to Max, Rob and Hayley.

The host

GO TO MADRID is my simple advice.

 

See you next week fans 

x

Follow me on Twitter @jackgravestock

Week Seven: Earls Court, Steam and Rye and Ping

Week Seven

  This week kicked off in a big way.  Three new places in total and all of them (two in particular) were quality.  We kicked off proceedings at Earls Court on Friday to watch Avicii (Oh my god he's so commercial). Saturday it was two birthday parties to go to (Partyman and all that) with a superb meal at Steam and Rye followed by a bit of nightclub ping pong at Ping. 

  Special guests this week include: Jamie Collins, Katrina Lennon, Will Matthews, Josh Beebee, Brynne Mccord, Ed Morris, Tom Grimes, Richard Pearce, Tom Wright, Haz Scott (Birthday Girl), Rob Buchanon (Celeb), Chris Kroeger, Freddie Dixon, Chris Hazell (Biggest fan), Bex Murphy, Aimee Pyatt, Lucy Tedstone (Birthday girl), Charlie Jordan, Briony Jones, Alex Jagger and Dan Cowling to name a few.

Summary of Earls Court

Name: Earls Court

Type: Entertainment Venue/Stadium

Location: Warwick Road, Earls Court London, SW5 9TA
Website: http://www.eco.co.uk/

Date Visited: 21/2/14

Price: Standard gig prices

Rating: 3/5

Review

  This place is a big old boy and what better way to go to a new stadium/arena for the first time then to watch the main man Avicii.  I can hear all the 'scene' crowd going 'I hate Avicii, he's so commercial !' You are not wrong, he is commercial but the man is awesome so do one.  

  There was a very young crowd amongst the crew and, of course, a fair amount of chavs.  That said there was a big group of us so we didn't notice the white lightning gangs too much and focused on the music.  Earls Court arena is huge so the atmosphere was hindered slighty but there were plenty of bars around so queues for drinks were small so it was nice and quick to stay hydrated and miss minimal amounts of Avicii's 'set' (sorry for that heinous cringe word) which is thoroughly important at venues. 

  Overall the venue is good but maybe too big as everyone loves to be a little cramped at these sort of events.  Adds to the occasion I always think, so for that I can only give this a 3.  Better venue, if you're asking, is Brixton's O2 Academy.  Avicii nailed it though.

Not entirely sure what I'm doing here. Strong look



Summary of Steam and Rye

Name: Steam and Rye

Type: Restuarant and late night bar

Location: 147 Leadenhall Street, London, EC3V 4QT
Website: http://www.steamandrye.com/

Date Visited: 22/2/14

Price: Worth it

Rating: 4/5

Review

  What a tidy establishment this is.  We were there to celebrate Haz Scotts 25th Birthday so we had an American style booth/table for around ten of us.  Smart.  Good bottled beer was on offer, service with a smile too by a nice barmaid, some cabaret style dancers on stage and THE food was magnificent.  Not every day you get to have a Lobster in a brioche (or breesh as I pronounced it, which the table for some reason found amusing) bun and my word, that was the ticket. 

  Admittedly this meal was post England V Ireland and few jars had been drunk, which always makes food taste better, but honest to god it was exceptional.  A cocktail then arrived on the house, in the name of Scotty's birthday, which was presented inside a T-Rex's head (see photo at the end).  Nice touch.  Paid the bill as I was off to Ping but serious thumbs up for this joint.  £62 for the pleasure? Fair in my eyes.  It was shame I couldn't stay for the whole evening as it turns into a club and those who stayed tell me it was a great fun.  Would love to come back.

T-Rex cocktail. 

Summary of Ping

Name: Ping

Type:  Kitchen/Bar/Ping Pong Game Rooms

Location: 180-184 Earl’s Court Road, London, SW5 9QG
Website: http://www.weloveping.com/

Date Visited: 22/2/14

Price: Yer fairly decent you know

Rating: 3.25 / 5

Review

  As you all know I love a bit of ping pong (see Week 4) and that incorporated into a nightclub/bar where on earth can you go wrong.  I had good preparation for this bar with the exquisite (big and clever word) feed from Steam and Rye and I had a nice sleep on the tube enroute to Ping.  A group of Italians sitting next to me and opposite seemed to be highly amused by this while my mates kindly stood by and filmed the whole episode. 

  Passare, we entered Ping paying the £10 entry fee which seems to be standard in London now and we then greeted Lucy (second birthday girl) and the other girls at the bar.  Now I'm not one to brag but when my biggest fan, Will, Lefty and I arrived we were welcomed by the girls like One Direction are welcomed when arriving on stage.  Drinks were priced well and some weird South Africa fella bought all of us a load of Tequila shots at the bar which helped. 

  The table tennis was a good laugh too but unlike the Royal Oak there wasn't enough room to operate for the game to be competitive.  People kept wanting to join in mid game, this isn't an exhibition sport son.... move on there is a game going on here.  Plenty more dancing followed and before we knew it the night was quickly over so it was time for 20 Mcnuggets and a taxi home.  No complaints, would come back here.

Poem Advice

Venue to watch a genius
The man Avicii at Earls Court
Fairly hard to seem him
Especially if you're short

Steam and Rye in central
The food is reem
Cocktails in a T-Rex
That's bloody obscene!

Table tennis in a bar?
Ping it must be
Drinking and ping pong
Sounds good to me

Thanks again guys for the read and, if you're asking, the blog has garnered some interest from TimeOut London.  To save you some time Caroline McGinn (she's the editor) my email address is jackgravestock@hotmail.com and I would be thoroughly interested in writing a column.  Any venues who want to approach me to go their venue (he says wishfully) then do let me know.  Who knows it could get you a point.

Anyways I must dash as I am off to Madrid tomorrow.   Week 8 is going to be big!  More like a journal.

See you next week fans 

x

Follow me on Twitter @jackgravestock

Week Six: Bodeans

Week Six

  This week looked at one stage to have all ingredients of being one of the best I've had for new places.  Unfortunately it was not to be, as convenience got the better of my adventerous side and I found myself at three rather familiar establishments over the weekend.  Tooting Tram and Social, Infernos and its inseparable twin Mcdonalds to name them.

  No new place on Friday as, despite the numerous offers and the many kind cards I received, I decided to stay in on Valentines Day and play the Logos board game instead.  It is not a good board game if you are wondering.  Any I digress, the new place this week was left late until Sunday lunch time where I stepped into the Bodeans restaurant on Clapham High Street for the first time.  Special guests include Jamie Collins, Tom Goldwater, Chris Hazell (my biggest fan), Tom Grimes and Will Matthews.

Summary of Bodean's BBQ Restaurant

Name: Bodean's BBQ Restaurant

Type: BBQ Restaurant. 

Location: 169 Clapham High Street, Clapham, London, SW4 7SS
Website:  http://www.bodeansbbq.com

Date Visited: 16/2/14

Price: Marvellous

Rating: 3.5/5

Review

  Sunday morning had arrived and I began to panic.  A new place had not been conquered and time was running out.  Luckily my good friends, like myself, were hungry and keen to make use of the unexpected appearance of the glaring sun.  After a tube journey of bickering and an indecisive walk out of Clapham South tube, eventually we all agreed upon Bodean's.

  Now this place was pretty top notch I have to say.  Yes we did have to wait half an hour and yes they might have prematurely called us from our seats in Starbucks to say our table was ready, when it wasn't, which cost me the remaining three quarters of my Large Strawberries and Cream Frappucino.  That said the Frappucino had given me two difficult spells of brain-freeze which is never an enjoyable experience on a hungover. Out again were you Jack? Sure.

Once over this small set back I could have no complaints.  The service was quick, efficient and pleasant.  What more could they do to please me? Well funny you should ask that as my Iphone had run out of battery unexpectedly, but don't worry, this establishment had a spare charger.  This goes down very well with me.   All places should have spare Iphone 4 chargers for their customers.  (Top tip to get you extra points on this blog). 

  Jugs of tap water were ordered and what more they did not come with the waiters giving disapproving looks over us which was appreciated. Now for the food and I went for the pulled pork burger which came with chips (which were not as good as last week) and some tasty creamy sauce I forget the name off.  The burger was awesome.  Did the bun hold its shape and last the whole meal? You bet it did...with ease.  It might well of been stuffed with extortionate amounts of pulled up pork and filling but it wasn't remotely phased.  After the disappointment of last week, my faith in South London burgers has been restored. Were the chips overcooked? Maybe but the table disagreed so I'll give the kitchen the benefit of doubt this time. 

  The bill arrived and when it came to £9.50, including tip (I paid 10 because I'm such a bloody generous tipper), I was thrilled.  In all honesty, you have to admit it that is bloody good value.  Sure the jugs of tap water helped to keep the cost down but hey, I wasn't up for an alcoholic beverage after going out Friday and Saturday night. Stop it.

I recommend this chain...thoroughly enjoyed it.

Poem Advice

The Bodean's restaurant in Clapham
Is part of a London based chain
But that doesn't stop it being awesome
To call the food crap is insane

Again I can only apologise for only going to one place and for that distinctly average poem.  My worst yet, I bet.... 

 

Unfortunately I didn't take any photos this week so here is a plug of the burger I ate:

 

 

Fairly random

 

See you next week fans

x

Follow me on Twitter @jackgravestock

Week Five: Kafana

Week Five

Week five was fairly quiet for new places.  Only one place and it was extremely disappointing so don't worry this will be a short(ish) and boring(unlikely) read.  Special guests this week include Will Matthews, Murphy, Loz, Malaktos, Tariq, Tedstone, Oli and Nix.  It was a lively brunch indeed.

Summary of Kafana Cafe

Name: Kafana

Type: Restaurant, bar and cafe. 

Location: Fulham, London
Website: http://www.kafana.co.uk/

Date Visited: 8/2/14

Price: Unjust 

Rating: 2/5

Review

  I woke up Sunday morning on a friends sofa freezing cold with a 'slight' headache after a fairly large night (such a lad).  I needed some food to fuel my day and some coffee to straighten me out.  Rumours were spreading like wild fire that there was a congregation (group of friends) forming at a nearby cafe called Kafana.  Perfect, get in!  I arrived with my compadre William and we sat down with our fellow amigos.  Orders were taken and eyebrows raised when informed off that to add Cheese and Bacon it would set us back an extra £2.  'Nevermind, it must be a good burger,' I thought.  My cappuccino arrived and it all started to go a bit south from there.  

  Now it may sound strange to complain about a coffee being too hot but this Cappuccino was scolding!  It burnt my tongue! Taste buds gone! My steak burger then arrived which, quite frankly, was a travesty.  The burger was too big for the bun, again a strange complaint, and the bun simply couldn't handle it.  Mainly because it was too over-packed.   In the end the bun just didn't have the metal and  fell to the pressure collapsing into a sorry state onto my plate.  Joke. This meant I had to eat the thing with a knife and fork.  This should never happen when eating burger, never!  

Why have I rated this as a 1.8 then? Well the waiter was a nice guy, the conversation was good value and the chef nailed the chips. Exceptional.  If you go here make sure you don't order the steak burger, it was a horror show.  Average quality too.

Poem Advice

Kafana was disappointing
The burger was very poor
An unsatisfied Partyman
Departed through the door

Sorry there wasn't more to tell guys but don't worry....week six looks busy!

See you next week fans

x

Follow me on Twitter @jackgravestock

Week Four: Lab Bar, Ricks Restaurant, Royal Oak and The Swan

Week Four

  Week four was a busy one.  Four new places! Wow, what a life I lead.  Lab bar on the Tuesday.  Then three places on Saturday, maverick.  Before the England game it was Ricks restaurant with the brother, Chris Hazell and the financier (Dad) making another appearance.  Then it was onto the Royal Oak pub with Chris Hazell, the brother, Tom Goldwater and Jasper Cox.  The brother departed after that and then it was onto the Swan in Stockwell....gritty!

Summary of Lab Bar

Name: Lab Bar

Type: Bar

Location: Soho, London

Website: http://www.labbaruk.com/

Date Visited: 28/1/14

Price: Standard

Rating: 2/5

Review

Right so I was only here for an hour and a half and it might of been a Tuesday but the place was fairly flat.  We sat in the downstairs area and it was one of those places where the music was too loud so you can't hear the conversation.  That is fairly important especially with my reliable quips.  The pricing was ok, the company good but all in all I wouldn't go back there again.  Meant to get lively on a Saturday night so maybe try it then.  For a midweek watering hole I would avoid.

Summary of Ricks Restaurant

Name: Ricks Restaurant

Type: Restaurant

Location: Tooting Broadway, London

Website: http://www.ricks-restaurant.co.uk/

Date Visited: 1/2/14

Price: Affordable

Rating: 3.5/5

Review

To quote Chris Hazell this place is 'quirky.'  Which basically means it's a bit weird.  True to form when Dad is paying for affairs, who seems to be visiting once a week to ensure a regular mention on my memoirs, we were the only people in there.  There was some questionable music playing in the background which didn't stop Dad shazaaming it for 'banter'.  All the knives and forks were different and the glasses ranged from shot glasses to port glasses as the dishwasher was behind schedule.  Far from ideal vessels for your mid afternoon beverage.  Despite this the food was quality.  I went for the paella which was nice but there were a few shells in it which I always find irritating to deal with, its just unnecessary admin.  All in all the lack of atmosphere and the bizarre nature of it makes it just fall short of the 4.


Summary of The Royal Oak

Name: The Royal Oak
Type: Pub
Location: Clapham North, London
Website: No website (rogue)
Date Visited: 1/2/14
Price: Superb
Rating: 3.75/5

Review

Go to this pub.  Why I have never been here before I will never know.  It has a table tennis table (full size) which you can use in half hour spells and you have sufficient room to manoeuvre around it, this is key.  I may have lost a couple of games of doubles but I am a singles player at heart so my confidence has not been affected you'll be pleased to know.  What makes this place even better is that it has Becks Vier.  Nothing beats a Becks Vier.  It is a glorious beer and goes down beautifully, which is very important after you've had a big one the previous night....say whaat!  Oh and they only charge you £4. Bargain. There was a bit of drama when we stole Carl's reserved birthday table who had foolishly arrived 45 minutes late causing some friction between ourselves and an American girl who took offence to us sitting at the table.  I don't know why she was whinging, she didn't even know who Carl was.  I think she was just being lazy.  Never mind nothing could dampen my spirits in this joint.  Perfect place for a pre night out drink. Highly recommend it.


Summary of The Swan

Name: The Swan
Type: Gritty Nightclub
Location: Stockwell, London
Website: http://www.theswanstockwell.co.uk/
Date Visited: 1/2/14
Price: Controversial
Rating: 3/5

Review

This place is very gritty.  The place is open until 7am (apparently, didn't make it to the end I'm afraid to report) and is rammo!  Full of Irish people and some other rather interesting characters.  Entry is £15 which brought back horrible memories from the Week 2 adventure at Embargoes but the drinks were really cheap.  All in all the place is fairly good fun to get some booze down you and cling on to the night if you are unwilling to say goodbye to the Saturday night and thus your weekend.  Horrible regret the next day.  When you have flashbacks of seeing this establishment (see picture below) its not hard to realise why.

Poem Advice

If your wondering around Soho

Wanting a lively drink

Then the place isn't Lab bar

No matter what you think

If your hungry in tooting

Then head on down to Ricks

You'll get delicious food

Served by quirky chicks

Table Tennis and Becks?

Then the Royal Oaks for you

We stole Carl's Table

Poor lad didn't have a clue

Then onto the Swan in Stockwell
The nights rather gritty

If you're out on the pull

Then you won't find a fitty.

I think I said 'then' too much in that poem, must do better.  See you next week fans

x

Follow me on Twitter: @jackgravestock