Thursday 10 April 2014

Week Thirteen: Hollywood Arms, Lost and Co and Le Bistrot Pierre



Week Thirteen

  

  Week thirteen did have its unlucky moments but luckily I was able to get three new places in.  It was over to Fulham on the Friday night and then on Saturday night it was a return to Stratford-Upon-Avon for the mother's birthday.  Such a good son.

  Special guests this week include: Pyatt, Breester, Tedstone, Bex Webb, Oli Grove, Arthur, Lefty, the brother, the mother and Bunny (it's what I call my grandma....will explain later).




Summary of Hollywood Arms

Name: Hollywood Arms

Type: Gastro Pub

Location: 45 Hollywood Road, Chelsea, London, SW10 9HX

Website: http://www.hollywoodarmschelsea.com/

Date Visited: 4/4/14

Price: Can't complain but probably will 

Rating: 3/5

Review

  
  I have to say this is a very tricky place to review as it has a lot of things going for it but there is also a hell of a lot wrong with it.  Hollywood arms is in a grand old building, with nice high ceilings and lots of original features (bit of estate agent patter for you there).   The company was decent as Webby had come to visit so it was webby, tedstone, Oli, Pyatt, Arthur, Breester and myself having a bite to eat. 

  Upon arrival, to the waiters credit, he came straight over and asked me what I would like to drink.  I replied with, 'Becks Vier' (Standard) for which he proceeded to tell me that they didn't serve any.  Not a good start.  They did have a Peroni which was a good save so things were back on track.  This was as good as the service got I am afraid.  It really did let this place down as they really weren't on the ball at all.  However in all honesty my burger was pretty spot on.  The bun held it's consistency which as you all know is incredibly important in delivering a pleasant burger experience and ensuring that the knife and fork remain as spectators. 

  I think one of the main reasons for the poor service was that all the waiters were dressed as civilians. This proved incredibly problematic in trying to pick out the waiters when trying to order another drink or the bill.  How can you pick out a waiter who is dressed in jeans, a checked shirt and loafers? It's the standard Fulham boys look.  Fez dress code I call it.

  Due to the poor service and the fact the toilet attendant liked to pat you on the back and rub your shoulder while going to the toilet doesn't help its rating.  However the food, the company and the place itself is good so it gets a solid 3. 



This is the gang in Durell Arms where we went after the Hollywood Arms.  Don't know what I'm doing with my phone.



Summary of Lost and Co

Name: Lost and Co

Type: Bar

Location: 160 Putney High Street, London, SW15 1RS

Website: http://www.lostputney.co.uk/

Date Visited: 4/4/14

Price: Normal

Rating: 3/5


Review


  After the Hollywood Arms our party moved on to The Durell Arms to continue our night.  When this place closed it was time to go home so Lefty and I decided to get a night bus back to our home in Tooting.  Unfortunately the inevitable happened and both our phones ran out of battery so we had no information of which bus to get.  We gambled and it didn’t pay off as we found ourselves in Putney desperately searching for another bus to take us back to Tooting.  Wiser men would of got a taxi but not Tom and I.  We were lost (no pun intended) and we were walking into bars and pubs in Putney desperately searching for an Iphone 4 charger.

  I am not going to review every pub I went into for under a minute but the Lost and Co had the much-coveted Iphone 4 charger.  While my phone was in DJ booth charging, me and Lefty had a beer at the bar and observed the activities happening in this bar.  Everyone in this place were completely hooned but throwing some questionable but impressive dance shapes.  There weren't many people in this place considering it was 2am on a Friday night.  Anyhow the beer was fine, the music was ok and the staff very friendly so I can't criticise.  Would I come here for a night out? No is probably the answer but if you had a good bunch it'd be ok.

  Once twenty minutes had passed and the phone was back operating it was time to leave and catch the right bus.  We left the venue to a pleasant farewell from the friendly bouncer and then decided we should get a taxi instead.  So in all it was a pretty pointless visit and a waste of time.


Lefty, his incredible beard and I lost in Lost and Co. (Humour)  




Summary of Le Bistrot Pierre

Name: Le Bistrot Pierre

Type: French Restaurant

Location: Swan's Nest, Bridgefoot, Stratford-Upon-Avon, CV37 7LT


Date Visited: 05/04/14

Price: Ask Bunny (all will become clear shortly)

Rating: 3.5/5

Review


  Saturday had arrived and it was time for Stratford Upon Avon's favourite son to return home.  Yes I had returned to Warwickshire for the mother's birthday.  It was time to go out for a fancy dinner for the occasion and so Bistrot Pierre it was, with my mother, Peter (mums bf), Joe, myself and Bunny (my Grandma).  

  Before I go onto the important review I must address the question on all of your lips.  Why do you call your grandma Bunny? The reason is because when I was a young sprog I couldn't pronounce Granny and instead pronounced it as Bunny.  This now results in all of our family (trendsetter even at that age) calling an 80 year old lady Bunny.  It is rather strange and does get weird looks from the public.

  Anyway to the meal and I have to say the place is pretty decent.  Honey roasted chorizo for a start....tasty.  Calamari was the next course which was a bit of a let down as the batter fell apart so I had to use my knife and fork while eating battered squid.  Absurd. 

  The main was delightful as I had the lamb shoulder but it did lack a bit of sauce so it was a little dry but still very tasty.  Never been a dessert man so we skipped that and got the bill.   Despite forgetting Mum's present she had a delightful time.  I did get her a card and I turned up so she was pretty chuffed.  Before you criticise me she has now received her birthday present.  Top son I am.

  Back to this place, I had to say it is a good french restaurant and we were served free champagne because my brothers Joe and Fred (Shoutout to him in Australia) used to be waiters so we got special treatment.  To conclude, service was on the money, food was tasty and Bunny paid.  Result.  If you are ticking the tourist box and visiting Stratford-Upon-Avon's which is the birthplace ofWilliam Shakespeare's then come here for dinner.


This weekend was also time to say goodbye to the family home as Mum has moved out and is moving to Devon.
No witty sarcastic comments here.  Just a tearful goodbye.




Poem Advice



The Hollywood Arms,
has lots of good and lots of bad
The groping toilet man
was creepy and made me feel sad

Lost and Co,
was a very fitting name
They had a charger
so I was glad I came

Back to Stratford 
to dine at Bistrot Pierre
I'm the famous guy in this town,
Not Shakespeare, so there

  

 Sorry about that heinous poem.  I think it’s my worst to date.  The truth always does read badly but nevermind we try again next week.  Thanks again for the continued support fans and I am looking into getting a subscribe button so you get it sent directly to your email every week once this piece is published.  Your prayers have been answered.  Any techies out there wishing to help me please do get in touch on this.

Oh and its a week away to my birthday.

See you next week fans

X


Follow me on Twitter @jackgravestock






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