Week Thirty Six: Honest Burger

Week Thirty Six

  Well hello there again fans and thank you once again for tuning in.  Just a quick cry out for help to any web designers, fellow bloggers or tech savy people, to please get in touch as I am thinking about changing web platforms and need some help/recommendations.  I don't have a clue so do drop me a line if you can help.  Is wordpress better?

Anyway back to the good stuff and this week only the one place was visited and the restaurant visited was the much talked about Honest Burger.  They have just opened up a branch in Tooting and as it's a 2 minute walk from home, I felt I had to visit.

  

Special guest includes: Chloe Bushill

Summary of Honest Burger

Name: Honest Burger

Type: Burger Restaurant

Location: 72 Tooting High Street, Tooting Broadway, London, SW17 0RN

Website: http://www.honestburgers.co.uk/

Date Visited: 10/09/14

Price: Not too bad

Rating: 3.5/5

Review

  I have been keen to visit honest burger for quite some time, as it comes with a lot of hype and some pretty strong recommendations from trusted friends.  I have tried to visit the one in Brixton village a couple of times, but the queue and wait, is always far too long.  I'm not known for my patience.  Anyway, the one in Tooting didn't have this problem. 

  Me and Chloe were actually trying to visit Meat and Shake, but they had a 40 minute wait and it was already 9.00pm so we opted for Honest Burger instead.  To be fair it was actually my housemate Chloe, who said we should come here as she proudly stated, 'it's the best burger you will have in London.'  Chloe had successfully grabbed my attention and we set off to Honest Burger.

Chloe and I...We did opposite each other I hasten to add.  This was for photo purposes.

 Due to it being a Wednesday night, the restaurant wasn't very busy and we were quickly escorted to a table for two.  A very energetic and enthusiastic waitress presented us both with menus and took our order for drinks.  We were not in the mood for messing about so we ordered our drinks at the same time (oh my god, you didn't did you?! crazy cats!).

  The menu is nice and simple, which plays to my strengths, and the burger I decided to go for was the 'honest burger'.  I always find that when you are unsure of what to order at a restaurant, always order the dish which has the name of the place you are at.  Reason for this is because this will likely be their signature dish and unlikely to be poor as this it's the very name of the place you are at so if it is poor you will associate the place as poor.  Probably complete balderdash but thats my theory anyway.

The nice and simple menu.  My kind of menu.

  Now as you know, I like a burger, so I was expecting some big things and I'm afraid it didn't quite live up to the hype.  Thats the problem when you go to a place with such a big tag, it never quite lives up to what you've built up to in your head.  Don't get me wrong the burger was good and I couldn't fault the consistency of the bun at all.  It kept it's shape throughout, which was pleasing, and my knife and fork remained untouched.  The waitress was very efficient, quick and very friendly.  The atmosphere of the restaurant was good and the decor inside was tasteful.  The problem for me was that it wasn't the best burger I've had in London.  It was tasty but not the best and the burger itself was a little on the small side in my opinion.

Good place to go for a bite to eat, the service was efficient and quick, the burger was tasty and I thought it was all well priced.  Honest burger is slightly overrated but I would happily come back here.

Special Shoutout
Winner: Chloe Bushill

This girl above is another true supporter of the blog and a great friend.  From week 1 to the present, she has followed this blog religiously and my eternal gratitude is yours Chloe.  She is also my housemate and it does pain me to write that unfortunately she is moving out.  This does present a great opportunity for any readers out there looking for a place to live until May.  The added bonus of this, is you'll be living with me and you'll be able to read the unedited version before it even gets published. Once in a lifetime opportunity folks.

Poem Advice

My first visit to Honest,
It came with a lot of hype
Didn't quite live up to it
and the waitress wasn't my type


 Thanks again folks and apologies its a short entry.  As I said above, if you need somewhere to live or know someone who does please email me at jackgravestock@hotmail.com.   It's the same email address for all the press scouts reading, who wish to approach me to write a weekly column for you, I'm currently offering a discounted rate you'll be pleased to know.


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Week Thirty Five: SW9, Brewdog, Tian Fu and Malthouse

Week Thirty Five

  Another week has gone by, as the year enters its final quarter.  It was an eventful one this week with a night out in Brixton, dinner and drinks in Shepherds Bush and an interesting meal in Chelsea.  When I say interesting, I actually mean in contention for the worst place I've visited this year.  Lot of special guests this week as the blog continues to grow...

Special guests include: Thomas Grimes, Tom Wright, James Astin, Ben MacAndrews, Gabriel Langford, Ed Cracknell, Oli Leech, Alex Felton, James Russell, Oli Grove, Arthur Johnson, Alex Browning, Will Matthews Bex Murphy, Briony Jones, Aimee Pyatt and of course my biggest fan (Chris Hazell).

Summary of SW9 Bar

Name: SW9 Bar

Type: Gay(ish) Bar

Location: 11 Dorrell Place, Brixton, London, SW9 8EG

Website: http://www.sw9bar.co.uk

Date Visited: 04/09/14

Price: Standard

Rating: 3.1/5

Review

  My biggest fan (Chris Hazell) had just moved into his new flat in Brixton and fancied checking out some of the local haunts.  Due to his unwavering loyal support since week 1, I felt obliged to attend and was joined by Tom Wright and Tom Grimes too. 

  One of the places included on this mini bar crawl in Brixton was the SW9 bar, which I believe was recommended to us by Tom Grimes.   Not for the first time this year,  I found myself in a gay bar accidentally.  It took us a while to clock it and took a quick google to confirm.  The internet officially confirms that SW9 is the last official gay(ish) bar in Brixton.  I take it that the 'ish' refers to heterosexuals being welcome too.   Well, it was a very friendly atmosphere I must say and we bumped into James Astin, who has also just moved to Brixton, who stayed for a drink too.

SW9

Despite James living in Brixton for a few months now, he too was unaware of it's sexual orientation and was surprised to hear it was a gay bar with him considering the place his local.  The bar itself is nicely tucked away off the high street and is a decent joint.  It does have limited seating inside and quite a small compact smoking area but it is a good place to have a quick drink.

The gang outside SW9.

 The toilets were unisex, which I found particularly odd but apart from that no faults on this bar.  Not going to blow your mind away but not a bad little place.  

Summary of BrewDog

Name: BrewDog

Type: Craft Beer Bar

Location: 15-19 Goldhawk Road, Shepherds Bush, W12 8QQ

Website: http://www.brewdog.com/bars/shepherds-bush

Date Visited: 05/09/14

Price: Good

Rating: 4/5

Review

  The weekend had arrived and it was time to go for some drinks and food with a few of the university crowd.  Ben MacAndrews had kindly organised the itinerary, which was a few beers before heading off for a Chinese.

  Brewdog was the bar/pub of choice and the idea behind it is fantastic.  Two guys had effectively grown fed up with the beers available at bars and pubs, so decided to brew their own....hence the name.  They haven't been going for that long, but they are growing quick and have opened up a tonne of bars all over the UK.  We were at the Shepherds Bush one and I was throughly impressed.

This is the trendy bar.

  If you like your craft beer, then this is the place for you.  The decor inside the place is superb and the lighting is perfect accompanied with a very impressive lighted menu at the back of the bar with a list of the all the different beers.  The bar itself, is situated very high up with imposing beer taps which are very impressive but also make you feel slightly intimidated and small.

  I was slightly late to arrive and the guys had managed to wangle us a private room at the back left of the place.  I wouldn't recommend hiring out this room if you do come here, as the acoustics in the room are quite simply terrible.  No matter how loud you talk or how clear you speak, it echoes horribly of each wall making it very hard to hear what anyones saying.  In addition to the gargled noise coming from all us, because you are in a separate room from the whole bar, you are really missing out on the atmosphere as there is none.  This is a stark contrast to the rest of the place.

The crack team outside brew dog. Hop heaven

This is the only small criticism I had and to be fair, we did choose to go in that room rather than standing with everyone else at the bar.  I recommend this place for all beer lovers and for those that like simple lager, have no fear as there is one on the menu called 'This. is. Lager.'  That did the trick for me and was very nice.  No Becks Vier of course.

Summary of Tian Fu

Name: Tian Fu Chinese Restaurant

Type: Chinese Restaurant

Location: 37-39 Bulwer Street, Shepherds Bush, London, W12 8AR

Website: http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Restaurant_Review-g186338-d3668655-Reviews-Tian_Fu-London_England.html

Date Visited: 05/09/14

Price: Great value for money

Rating: 3.8/5

Review

  Beers had been drunk and now it was time for the Chinese at a place called Tian Fu just down the road. I think I can safely say this is the first time in London I had been out for Chinese, rather than having it ordered on a Sunday night to be delivered to my front door due to feeling a bit fragile after a big weekend.  This place had been recommended to Ben, which meant we expected big things due to him being the Head Chef at Quo Vadis (sponsored shoutout).

Ben in his element.

  We sat down and were given our menu's by the waitress, who was either bordering on rude or was incredibly efficient.   After studying the menu for a few minutes, it became quickly apparent to me that my usual go to dish of sweet and sour chicken balls was not going to be on this particular menu.  This is, unsurprisingly, quite a step up from the usual take away chinese I am used to and this meal was very sophisticated.

  My new task was trying to find a dish on the menu which didn't contain the words spicy or chilli.  It was difficult and something I was unable to complete and the table collectively decided that we should just order a mixture and have eat buffet style.  It was a that moment that I decided I was going to give spicy food a try and attempt to overcome my biggest obstacle in the food arena rather than being difficult and asking to order separate.  I'm glad I did.

  The food was absolutely fantastic, although it was spicy.  I was able to overcome this due to the food being delicious, an excessive use of napkins to keep the forehead in order, plenty of drinkable liquid and using the Chinese cabbage jelly fish salad dish as a neutraliser.  That's all that dish was to me....a neutraliser, as it was by far my least favourite dish. The dishes I highly recommend is the Duck with Chinese Mushrooms and bamboo shoots along with the dry fished green beans dish, both of which were exceptional.

  I was only able to have one mouthful of the aromatic spicy hot pot with it taking me out of action for the next five minutes coupled with a coughing episode and 10 napkins.

The bill.  Perfect amount for 7 people

  The bill came to £178 including tip, which between the 7 of us I thought was great value for money.  Best Chinese in London? I haven't had better.  Tell me if you know somewhere that can beat it.

Summary of The Malt House

Name: The Malt House

Type: Gastro Pub

Location: 17 Vanston Place, London, SW6 1AY

Website: http://www.malthousefulham.co.uk/

Date Visited: 07/09/14

Price: A monumental travesty

Rating: 1.6/5

Review

   Roll up! Roll up! Here is contender number 2 for the worst place visited this year.   Don't worry W.C. you have kept your title, as that performance will take some beating.  Malthouse did run you close, very close.  Briony Jones had kindly organised the dinner and a good group of us went there that Sunday evening so no blame will be held to special guests, in fact it bumped it up a couple of points.  

  The place describes itself as an upscale Gastro Pub.  If upscale means having far too many empty tables, limited room at the bar and zapping out all possible atmosphere that this pub could have.  Add music barely louder than a monks whisper and lighting offensively bright...you've got yourself an upscale elephant graveyardesque pub trying to disguise itself as a posh restaurant.  No wonder there was no one there but then again it was a Sunday.  

 The reason for the visit was that it has been rated number 38 in the top 50 pubs in the UK by the Good Food Guide 2015.  The Times has it at 6 on another list and the Metro gave it 4 stars.  Maybe I caught the place on a bad evening but those reviews are laughable.

  The service was poor as despite there only being a handful of people, the Malthouse was still understaffed and it took them an hour to take our orders from arrival.  We arrived at 7.30 and left the place at 10.30.  3 hours for two courses in a place with very few customers....apalling and unacceptable for a Sunday night when getting to bed early is key for you to start the week fresh, especially if you have gone to as many events as I do at a weekend (ooooh look at this guy). 

Opened by michelin star restauranteur. Not this place though

  The food was pretty average in all honesty.  I had some pate for starters which resembled cat food and didn't come with bread.  This meant I had to get up to order the bread from the bar, which for some reason seemed to confuse the waiter.  Come on mate, you have to have bread with pate...its a given!  My main was fidget pie which I ordered only out of curiosity as didn't have a clue what a fidget pie was.  A fidget pie includes ham hock, apple and a few vegetables. 

  What arrived was effectivey a hot pot with a bit of pastry resting on top of it.  For a pie to be called a pie, it has to have the ingredients within the pastry, not beneath it.  It wasn't a pie so I wasn't thrilled and it wasn't that good.  Lesson learned: never order out of curiosity.

  Some could say I am being overly critical but in general if your forking out £30 a head and the only drink you've had is a glass of coke along with 2 courses, you expect it to be half decent.  Instead it was slow service, average food and overpriced.  Briony's risotto was pretty spot on and the burgers everyone else had, were apparently ok too.  Mine wasn't, so that's why it's getting a deservedly poor rating.  It doesn't deserve a 2.  

  The outside area or the secret garden as they call it, is pretty awesome as they have decked it out nicely and have a lot of fairy lights dotted around to give it a good look.   This was a rare positive from this place and I will be surprised if I ever come back here.  Maybe I'll come just for drinks next time or not come on a Sunday to give it another chance.  I do doubt it though.  

In conclusion it was poor, very poor.

Special Shoutout
Winner: JJ Dargan

JJ Dargan your continued support has not gone unnoticed and a special shout out on this blog is more than deserved.  The sharing and liking of the Facebook posts by yourself has been noticed and it is much appreciated. Although I haven't seen the man in a number of years, maybe since school, I can tell you that he's a good lad and a very good long jumper.  Good work James and thank you once again.  Unlucky on not winning the draw!

Poem Advice

Brixton's gone all trendy,
Plenty of cool places on show
SW9's quite popular
If your gay then I would go

Call yourself an expert
On crafted beers and ale?
Then try out the Brewdog
To see if you pass or fail

A Chinese restaurant in London
To sit down and not takeaway?
Tian Fu is the place you should go to
Although you'll struggle the following day

The Malthouse pub in Fulham 
Newly renovated and open again
Average and pretty underwhelming
You'll be lucky to get out before ten


Thanks again folks and your continued support is alway appreciated, especially as we enter the business end of the year.  Tune in next week!


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Week Thirty Four: Upton Park, Honky Tonk and Kensington Roof Gardens

Week Thirty Four

  I first would like to start the week by congratulating last week's competition winner, Bex Murphy.  She was the lucky name pulled out of the hat and will be wined and dined by The Financier.  Well done Bex and to all of you disappointed fans out there I can understand your pain but do not worry.  I received confirmation this evening that the Financier is willing to offer this special prize to another lucky contestant on a separate evening.  Great news all round and details will follow shortly.

  Back to this week and it included a midweek football game, a boozy lunch at the popular Honky Tonk and a night out at the prestigious Kensington Roof Gardens.   All very different but all good fun.

    

Special guests include: Nick Farkas, Tom Farkas, Ed Cracknell, Freddie Allen, Charlie Hayter, Hannah Trees, Chris Kroeger, Oliver Newbury, Ali Gray, Jack Bunnage, Tom Wright, Tom Goldwater and Alana Buchanon.

Summary of Upton Park

Name: Boleyn Ground

Type: Football Stadium

Location: Green Street, Upton Park, London E13 9AZ

Website: http://www.whufc.com/page/Welcome

Date Visited: 26/08/14

Price: Cheap

Rating: 3.25/5

Review

 After a big bank holiday weekend I was sceptical that the best place for me on Tuesday night was watching football featuring West Ham United V Sheffield United in the Carling Cup second round.  I was incorrect....what a fun little evening it was.

  Nick Farkas had kindly used his sway with the Sheffield United supporters club to bag us all tickets in the away stand for a cool price of £15.  The evening did come with it's tense moments with the hooligans of West Ham, which I didn't feel was helped by my out of place attire.  Unfortunately, I had come straight from work to meet the gang at Upton Park.  This meant I was in a full suit, minus the tie, and that coupled with a long winter coat meant I didn't have the look of your average away day fan.

Fantastic seats we had Upton Park

  Our seats/standing positions were directly behind the goal and right next to the GSE (West Ham's hooligan firm: The Green Street Elite) who were really getting stuck in with their abuse.  For the 90 minutes, I must admit I did turn into a bit of scally and embraced the Sheffield team as if they were my own.  The atmosphere was electric and I didn't mind getting involved with all the Sheffield chants, of which few I can repeat on here.  The game itself was pretty poor until a late equaliser from Sheffield United taking the game to extra time.  Extra time was played out to a dull draw but this meant it was time for penalties.  To make this better, the penalties were taken right in front of us.

It was tense but Sheffield United edged it and managed to win despite being two leagues below! Cue absolute pandominum in the away end.  Me, Farkas, his bro, Freddie and Ed happily joined in with the celebrations.  A few gestures were aimed at the disgruntled West Ham fans to our left and my suit unfortunately had been lightly coated in Carlsberg, a scent I carried for the rest of the evening.

It was a top evening, the atmosphere exceptional and Upton Park Stadium is impressive.  In fact I really do rate it as a stadium as you are very up and close to the action, which is incredibly important.  The 'hot dog' I had was questionable but thats always the case at footy grounds so it won't cost them on the rating too much.  The main criticism was that the entrance to the away end wa very tricky to find which meant we always missed kick off.

Good stadium and now Sheffield United will always now have a special place in my heart.  YORKSHIRE! YORKSHIRE! YORKSHIRE!

Summary of Honkey Tonk

Name: Honkey Tonk

Type: Bar and Restaurant

Location: 16a Clapham Common South Side, London, SW4 7AB

Website: http://www.honkytonklondon.com/contact

Date Visited: 30/08/14

Price: Good value for money

Rating: 3.9/5

Review

  I had been wanting to come here for a number of weeks since recently opening in Clapham.  This Honky Tonk (there is another one in Fulham) is where the Underdog (god awful place) used to be and the layout is exactly the same.

  The reason for our visit was that a barbecue had been rescheduled and instead of having a barbecue we went to Honky Tonk instead.  This was all kindly booked by Hannah Trees.  Now if you are going to come to this place I think you have to do it right, rather than popping in for a quick drink.  You have to do the whole hog when you come here and have a boozy lunch (oh he's bloody at it again is he).  Thats what we did (big of you).  

  Luckily we got moved from our initial entrapping and cramped table to a nice open square table with sufficient room for all 10 attendees.  Sol was the beer of choice, which was bizarre as it's a very budget beer but it sufficed (liking that word today) for the occasion.  Onto the menu and it's very guy friendly, with a similar look to places like Bodeans and Red Dog Saloon.  That worked well for me and I decided to experiment and go for the pulled pork sandwich after backing out of starters due to feeling a little fragile (don't tell me you were out on Friday too!).

  During the period from starters to mains the drinks had begun to flow at a more regular pace, which resulted in some people becoming heavily intoxicated....no names mentioned.

ALANA BUCHANON and Hannah Trees

  

  When you come to Honky Tonk you also get one free spin per table on the Honky Tonk wheel of fortune.  I took the honour and won us a free cocktail.  The table celebrated but this soon evaporated when the waitress quickly informed us that it was only one free cocktail for the whole table.  That  disappointment was quickly forgotten as the mains arrived on cue.  They were superb.   Critics out there (Ali Gray) will say that I can't give it a proper review as I only finished half of it.  But that half of the pulled pork was fantastic.  The one thing you normally find is that a pulled pork sandwich is a bit dry.  This one wasn't at all.

The famous wheel

  Anyway the rest of the table finished all the grub comfortably and the consensus was that the food was good. The bill arrived and came to just over £50 a head.  I thought that was good value for what we had considering we where there about 3-4 hours.  Really recommend this place as the service was very good, the atmosphere decent and the food (so the others tell me) of a good standard.

Not quite sure what any of us are doing here

  Like I said earlier, if you go to Honky Tonk please do it properly as just coming here for a few drinks or cocktails will not do it justice as it will just come across as just an average bar.  

Edgey shot

Summary of Kensington Roof Gardens

Name: Kensington Roof Gardens

Type: Rooftop bar

Location: 99 Kensington High Street, London, W8 5SA

Website: http://www.roofgardens.virgin.com

Date Visited: 30/08/14

Price: Not the cheapest

Rating: 4.25/5

Review

  The bill had been settled at Honky Tonk and after Kroeger's convincing recruitment drive, we all set off towards Kensington Roof Gardens.  Owned by Richard Branson and after only hearing positive things, I was excited.  I was correct to be excited as it was a brilliant evening and an truly impressive venue.

  Unsurprisingly the venue is situated on top of a building and is one giant roof terrace.  That description is probably not quite doing it justice as it is actually a roof garden rather than a simple roof terrace.  It is deceptively big and with flamingos knocking about, along with the beautiful gardens, it really is quite an experience when you attend for the very first time.

This is in the lift on the way up. Really shows off the venue

  Not for the first time this week, I found that my attire was not correct for the venue.  The classic get up for this place is shirt, chinos (jeans if your feeling edgey), smart shoes and a snazzy jacket.  I was unaware that we would be heading to this venue so my get up was desert boots, tight jeans and a small t-shirt.  I felt a little out of place and underdressed in all honesty.

 I got over it pretty quickly as in life you can't care about what other people think, that's my philosophy in life anyway...take note.  I can imagine the one concern most people will have about this place is that it's probably a bit pricey and some will argue it's a bit pretentious.

  Sure there are a lot of people there who do fancy themselves as a bit of a player but in general there was a really good crowd with a decent gender split which is also key for a successful venue aiming to achieve a good friendly atmosphere. The drinks were pricey, don't get me wrong, but if you chose carefully then it wasn't too bad as a bottle of beer came to £5.  That's pretty standard in my eyes and if you decide to drink bottled beer all night then that's quite a cheap evening for a night out.  It is difficult to drink bottled beer all night I must admit.

The only photo I have at the place.  Good look

  Overall, I must say that Kensington Roof Gardens is somewhere I will definitely be attending again as you cannot beat the surroundings, the place has a lot of class and any place situated on top of a building with flamingos running around is got to be fun.  We didn't stay here all night as we headed off to the Sopranos piano bar (which is exceptional by the way) at 11ish.  So whether it could work as a destination venue is a different matter.

The gang at Sopranos...worth a visit that place

  Entry to KRG (that's what the regular cool kids call Kensington Rooof Gardens) was £10 but we were on the gueslist (they had heard about the blog) and we did get a free cocktail with that too.  Standard entry for regular muggles is £20 minus the cocktail, so that isn't the cheapest.  I would definitely say come here for an evening if you haven't been before.  Top evening.

The free cocktails

Special Shoutout
Winner: Nick Farkas

Nick Farkas, an avid supporter of Sheffield United, is this weeks deserved winner for a number of reasons.  Firstly he was the brains behind the trip to Upton Park to go and support his beloved Sheffield United.  It was a truly unique experience and a lot of fun.  Nick is also an avid supporter of another more important thing....my blog.  He has also smartly bought in the up and coming Tooting....intelligent fellah.  In conclusion, your continued support is much appreciated and well done on buying your first property.

Poem Advice

Upton Park's the venue
A fiery atmosphere thats for sure
Even more so in the away end
Feeling helpless from the law

Honky Tonk in Clapham
Make sure you do it well
Don't just go for drinks
Have the nice food, it's swell

Kensington Roof Gardens
or KRG for short
An awesome trendy venue
Which Richard Branson bought


Thanks again for your continued support and expect some big things in the next few weeks.  Again I would like to reiterate that there will be another winner from last weeks competition.  Be patient.

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